Last Updated April 8th, 2008 and tagged in bios, characters

Moai Mel (right) was created in February 2008 as a symbol for truth, justice, and the Okonkulukuian Way. His biggest fears are sweetened bitters, broken blenders, and sappy love songs sung by poodle-haired women. If you see him and he’s feeling gloomy, pour him a Pernod Mou-Tai. (That’s a ‘44 Mai-Tai but with Chinese moutai instead of white rum and Pernod instead of orgeat or falernum … a stiffy; we don’t recommend it). It won’t cheer him up, but it’ll make him long for tastier times!

A thinker, philosopher, poet, scholar, and drinker, Moai Mel’s most famous saying is, Well, ya can’t argue with logic like that. And indeed, given the right mix of bitters to rums, you can’t!

Drawn by Sam Gambino for WAITIKI